God thoughts on a good day

Allow me to set the mood with a little music: It's a Beautiful Morning  (Go ahead and let that play in the background while you read today's post.)

As I posted in late April (Ernowrimo and the anchor of prayer), I had great plans for May. A month off from teaching! The kids still in school! Lots of quiet, alone time to work on my book!  May was going to be Erica Novel Writing Month! It seems, however, that God had other plans for me; to quote the title of Julia Sweeny's memoir, "God said, Ha!"

In my most recent post, I'm not dead yet, I wrote about finding acceptance in the midst of a family crisis. I have no doubt that if I'd not come to accept the current problem affecting our lives, I would not be feeling quite so cheerful this morning.

The rainy week has passed into a sunny Saturday, leaving behind thick grass (and weeds!), trees nearly in full leaf, and my bleeding hearts, pansies, and creeping phlox in full bloom. 

Now that I have some calm and perspective about everything, I can see that under the flow of anxiety over my child, there was a smaller current of disappointment and frustration. I was supposed to be writing, darn it! I wasn't supposed to spend all of my "free," non-teaching time scrambling to find resources. May was supposed to be about my novel and making good progress on it before my next set of workshops and the start of the kids' summer vacation.

This morning, this very good morning, my mind clears as does the sky. Having May off wasn't about having time to write; it was about having time to mother when my child most needed me. I could be completely present for her and not have to hold any emotional energy in reserve for my students. What a gift! I know some amazing parents who work full time and manage serious issues for their children. I tip my hat to them. I know they are simply doing what needs to be done and if faced with full time work and a family issue I would as well. I'm beyond lucky that my child's crisis happened during my free time. Such serendipity! How can I rail against my lack of writing time when that time is spent, instead, being with my child?

Today is a good day. Yes, the sun is shining and the sweet smell of cut grass pleases me as I type, but the best part of today is my heart beating steady with acceptance, feeling gratitude for what is instead of frustration at what isn't.

Now, please excuse me as I end this post. I think I'll follow the Rascal's advice and go outside to take in some clean, fresh air. I'm already smiling.